Saturday, March 02, 2013

Pregnancy Update: God is good!

"I will praise You, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will tell of all Your marvelous works." Psalm 9:1

I wanted to take a few minutes to share God's goodness towards our family today. I have a feeling it's going to be a long post but that shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who reads our blog regularly. ;) We serve an amazing God! I believe firmly we should share with each other (& especially with our children!) how He is working out His purpose in our lives.  Let's not miss His mercies- big and small! I pray that not only would you join us in praising God for what He's done today, but that you would also be encouraged to see what He's doing in your lives! We would also covet your prayers but more on that in a bit.

Around midnight this morning, I noticed that I was bleeding heavily. What a complete shock! I was 12 weeks and thought I was "safe." As tears streamed down my face, I cried out, "Lord what are You doing?" I know how that sounds but it wasn't a cry of anger. Instead, it was simply one of a daughter struggling to understand what her Father was doing. I told Eric and we cried & prayed together because we instantly believed I was miscarrying. Eric encouraged me to call the doctor since I'm taking blood thinner. We had to wait quit a bit for the doctor to return my call. More time for me to lift up prayers. This time they went like this: "Lord, I can't put all these pieces of the puzzle together. It's just too much. You do it. You are good. Even though this hurts, You are good." It was too much to try to comprehend why or what God was doing. I didn't even want to try. I didn't want to fall apart because I knew I had seven children sleeping in nearby rooms. I didn't want to jump to conclusions but I couldn't hope either.

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." Deuteronomy 33:27

The doctor did finally call us back and I spent time talking to him about my history. My original doctor and midwife had recently left the practice, so this was the first time talking to this man. He said several times he was so sorry this was happening. I thanked the Lord for his compassion, especially considering what I had experienced with the last miscarriage. The doctor encouraged me to come into the ER the next morning, where he would meet me for an exam & ultrasound. I agreed that sleep would be good & promised to call if anything changed. God was good to grant us sleep.

"I cried to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill. I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the Lord sustained me." Psalm 3: 4-5
We left the children with my parents & arrived at the ER at 11:30 this morning. (We decided it best to wait to tell the children what was happening until we had more info.) By this time, the bleeding had decreased significantly but I was still experiencing mild cramping. Before leaving, I spent some time praying and asking God for strength to face whatever He willed. I kept repeating, "This is really hard but You ARE good."
We've learned there is such a thing as "hospital time." It is painstakingly S-L-O-W. God was good to let us get the last room aviable in the ER (we heard the nurse request to another not to take the last room because I really needed it) but it took 40 minutes for the doctor to come down because the staff forgot to tell him I was ready. We went into greater detail about my past history- it's complicated & takes a bit of time to cover. The details of the exam isn't something I'd prefer to share with the men but let's just say it was unconventional. The doctor said he believed I had indeed miscarried but he would order an ultrasound to make sure. We also discussed what to do after that & determined that I would have a D&C later that day. The doctor left to head over to another hospital, promising to call me with results as soon as he knew & return for the D&C. We waited again, this time for over 1 hour, for a medical tech to take me for an ultrasound so a radiologist could read it. (Side note: anyone else notice the lack of efficency with hospitals?) I sent texts to a few friends, asking for their prayers. I knew my parents were praying.
"My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation... Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." Psalm 62:5, 6a & 8

Eric wasn't able to go with me for the ultrasound. Totally weird. The tech barely spoke & turned the screen around so I couldn't see it. I just tried to focus on a black spot on the ceiling. Praying made me want to cry & I had no desire to do that in front of him all alone. In the middle of the ultrasound, the tech did ask me if I had ever had an ultrasound done when I wasn't pregnant.  I responded no & thought that was a weird question. It seemed to take forever (in reality, it was very short) for him to finish so we could head back to the room. More waiting for the results but God was good that this time, the wait was short.

The doctor's first words on the phone were, "They let you hear the baby's heart beat, right?" WHAT?!? He reassured me that the baby was indeed healthy! I was in total disbelief and asked him if he was serious. He reassured me he was but I did have some serious complications. But before I share those prayer requests don't miss this: God had sustained our baby's life! "Thank You, Lord! Thank you!"

"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well." Psalms 139:14
I have two complications that the doctor said makes this pregnancy higher risk than any of my other ones. The bleeding was caused by a subchorionic hemorrage that is about 3-4 cm. The doctor shared that there is nothing he can do to cure me. Miscarriage and preterm labor are concerns. But it's a "wait-and-see-what-happens" kind of thing. The other complication is that the tech had observed I had a uterine fibroid. The doctor was surprised it hadn't been caught before but I wonder if I've formed it in the past year or so after Emily was born. Anyway, it carries it's own risks- miscarriage & preterm labor are possible depending where the fibroid is located. I'm not sure of the location at this point. I'll call Monday to make an appointment to meet with the doctor and learn more. I'm thankful to be home now resting.

We would apperciate your prayers! Praise God for sustaining the life of our baby! God is good! I hope and pray that I would say that even if God had taken this baby to heaven. My prayer today has been, "Lord, my life & this baby belong to You, not me. Do what You will for Your glory. Strengthen me to serve You- I want to be faithful, Lord Jesus! I want Your will to be a healthy baby and that's what I'll plead with You for. But I also know Your ways are better. Not always easy but good."

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

Pray for my health & the health of our baby. We would desire to raise this child this side of heaven! Pray for wisdom for the doctors/medical personel & our witness to them. Pray for Eric- he shoulders so much for our family in times like this! Pray that our focus continues to be on our Savior, how we can love & serve Him. I pray He finds us faithful because He is faithful!

So, what about you? Can you say tonight God is good? I pray you can! I pray you can see beyond what is right in front of you and put you're thoughts on Christ!

Psalm 145
I will extol You, my God, O King;
And I will bless Your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless You,
And I will praise Your name forever and ever.
Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised;
And His greatness is unsearchable.
One generation shall praise Your works to another,
And shall declare Your mighty acts.
I will meditate on the glorious splendor of Your majesty,
And on Your wondrous works.
Men shall speak of the might of Your awesome acts,
And I will declare Your greatness.
They shall utter the memory of Your great goodness,
And shall sing of Your righteousness.
The Lord is gracious and full of compassion,
Slow to anger and great in mercy.
The Lord is good to all,
And His tender mercies are over all His works.
All Your works shall praise You, O Lord,
And Your saints shall bless You.
They shall speak of the glory of Your kingdom,
And talk of Your power,
To make known to the sons of men His mighty acts,
And the glorious majesty of His kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
And Your dominion endures throughout all generations.
The Lord upholds all who fall,
And raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look expectantly to You,
And You give them their food in due season.
You open Your hand
And satisfy the desire of every living thing.
The Lord is righteous in all His ways,
Gracious in all His works.
The Lord is near to all who call upon Him,
To all who call upon Him in truth.
He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him;
He also will hear their cry and save them.
The Lord preserves all who love Him,
But all the wicked He will destroy.
My mouth shall speak the praise of the Lord,
And all flesh shall bless His holy name
Forever and ever.


dawn said...

Praying even more.

MRTrexler said...

Wow! Praying for you and the baby to be healthy! Thankful for your testimony!

Casey said...

Oh, so thankful that little one is okay, and that you are okay as well! Praying for the both of you on this journey as you go through each day one hour at a time...may you rest in the peace of Christ. May God give you the strength to face whatever comes with the knowledge that He loves you very much. Take Care - Casey

Raymond Harris said...

We surely know that you are in Gods hands...grant you peace and rest as you wait. We will pray for you all each and every day.
Love Mom and Dad